For years I have heard about the book, The Five Love Languages. It was actually Mae who first told me about it. As a quick premise for the book, it basically establishes 5 ways that people love with the notion that if you understand yourself and your partner you are better equipped to carry on a successful relationship. For this year’s #REALationshipGoals, I thought it would be fun to examine our relationships and see where the ladies see ourselves compared to our men. But first… you need to know what the 5 Love Languages are:
Words of Affirmation
If this is your love language, you love the power words possess. You live for the “Good Morning, beautiful/handsome” texts, and nothing warms your heart more than a good old fashioned compliment. Whether it be on a personality trait or your looks, you swoon over being verbally validated on a regular basis.
If this is how you like to receive love, nothing beats being constantly surrounded by those you love. Even if it’s just a phone call, some carried our plans, or just being in the same room as the other person while cruising the internet or mindlessly watching Netflix. In your eyes, time spent with the person you love if the best time spent.
The way you see it, receiving gifts is the ultimate way to interpret love. This isn’t to be confused with being vain or materialistic. Most can agree that if you sees something and think, “Wow! My SO would love this!” you are pretty connected. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be thought of. You love receiving gifts that are personalized and show that your partner knows you you. It’s always the small things that matter most.
This is quality time amplified because it’s taking it a step further into needing this person’s physical presence rather than needing consistent communication. If this is you, you need cuddling, hugging, handholding, and other physical signs that suggest your partner cares about you and wants to be with you too.
Acts of Service
Remember that time that you were dreading getting an oil change and when you finally decided that today would be the day that you tackle this obnoxious chore, it was already done for you! Acts of service basically translates into lending a helping hand shows you really care. Basically, if you’re not willing to show your appreciation by doing them a favor, you’re saying you don’t value them.
Separately, read the descriptions above and decide what your love language is and what your partner’s is. After, discuss amongst yourself and see if you can settle on who was right. Maybe your partner knows you better than you know yourself!
Sabrina & Sahir
Sabrina on Sahir’s Love Language: I think Sahir’s love language is Acts of Service. Sahir is so easy to please because he doesn’t expect a lot from those who love him, but he always notices when I take him to fill his medicines, get his car washed, or pick up something for him.
Sabrina on Sabrina’s Love Language: Jeez, this is hard. I think mine is quality time. I love being connected with Sahir on a physical level when we’re walking and he drapes his arms around my shoulders or pulls me close. Just being together means the most.
Sahir on Sabrina’s Love Language: It’s hard to choose what love language Sabrina expresses the most. She has a huge heart and loves to cuddle, but if I had to choose her love language would be quality time. No matter if it’s watching a tv show together, making dinner, or even just checking our Insta feeds on adjacent couches – time spent together is def the best time spent.
Sahir on Sahir’s Love Language: My love language would be a mix of quality time and acts of service. I obviously love spending time together but when I’m in a hurry and she makes an extra cup of tea or avocado toast in the morning, that does the trick!
Mae & Nick
Mae on Nick’s Love Language: Nick’s primary receiving love language is quality time. No matter what we are doing, he loves to just be together. Even though this is not my primary love language, I 100% appreciate that he’d rather be with me than anywhere else. This followed closely by acts of service.
Mae on Mae’s Love Language: My primary love language is acts of service. From taking blog photos to helping me with the budget to cleaning the house, I feel so much love from Nick when he does these things. I tend to show love through words of affirmation and physical touch, though.
Nick on Mae’s Love Language: The best way to show Mae love is acts of service. Mae is a dreamer and when she decides she wants to do something she’s all in. So, one of the best ways to demonstrate love to her is to catch her vision and join her in seeing it through. The way Mae shows love, however, is two fold. First, words of affirmation. Second would be physical touch.
Nick on Nick’s Love Language: Quality time is definitely number one for me. I’m not big on gifts. I appreciate them just like anyone else, but really nothing beats just spending time with those I love. I give love in the same way but strongly lean toward acts of service as a way to give love.
Lauren & Brandon
Lauren on Brandon’s Love Language: Brandon is 100% all about physical touch! He loves to cuddle, snuggle, lay on me, etc. I only like to cuddle at night sometimes and when I push him away (which is not often because he’s so darn cute), he definitely gets weird and sad lol.
Lauren on Lauren’s Love Language: I’m totally split. Acts of service and quality time are the way to my heart. I grew up watching my parents do sweet things for each other – not getting gifts, but doing things together or for each other and I definitely expect that from my SO and like to give it in return.
Brandon on Lauren’s Love Language: Is crazy love an option? Just kidding – Lauren is all about quality time. I can tell an instant shift in her mood when we spend more time together.
Brandon on Brandon’s Love Language: Physical touch. Lauren isn’t always the biggest fan but I love bringing her over to the dark side.
Take this weekend to do this fun exercise with your SO and if you do be sure to message me and let me know how it goes! Don’t forget to check out more #REALationshipGoals posts here!