#REALATIONSHIP GOALS | ALONE TIME

Happy Friday! It’s time for another #REALationship Goals post and this time it’s one you guys asked for. We are always looking for recommendations about topics and this was a highly requested issue. Honestly, I get why! Privacy is one of the most important things for everyone, even when you are in a relationship. Today we are tackling private time, spending time apart, and even whether or not we check each other’s phones! Woo, it’s getting spicy in here. 

After the success of last week, we decided to continue with the new format. Here what you can expect: you can read about how we find private time at home here – then head over to Lauren’s to read about what spending time apart and finally, finish up at Mae’s blog to read about the scandalous topic of snooping!

When you’re home together, how do you find private time?

Sabrina: When we first moved in together, this was one of the hardest things to get used to. (Maybe, the hardest?!) We were so used to spending all of the time we had together, together, that when we moved in together- we didn’t know how to manage our time apart. By that I mean that dates usually consisted of hanging out till one of us had to “go home” and when “home” is with the other, where does the “hanging out” end? I remember the first week we bought our house, I had a girls date planned and I offered to cancel it because I was worried about what he would do while I was gone. Fast forward two years, we are experts at being in the same space and while being “alone”. I often blog for one or two hours a night and Sahir has to answer emails or work on projects, but we usually sit in the living room together and put on Friends or HIMYM in the background and just work. Sahir has recently taken up watching sports on his iPad while I’m watching something else on the big TV (or vice versa) and we find it nice to be cuddled under the same blanket even if we are on opposite sides of the couch hearing, watching, or reading different things. It’s okay to have different interests, as long as it works for both of you.

Lauren: B and I don’t live together yet but we do spend a lot of time at either my place or his. When we are together (which is prob 95% of the time ha), there’s a pretty good chance we’re heading to the gym, eating or watching Netflix. However, we can’t be under each other at all time (again, another lesson I’ve learned more recently). So when we want to be “together” but still get some alone time, we try a few different things. The most popular is laying the the bed together – but watching/doing separate things. I usually do a lot of blogging and Adorn work from my bed late at night. While I do that, B either logs into his computer to get some work done or catches up on his “boy” stuff like silly Youtube video or basketball highlights or whatever else guys like to watch. Although we’re still within just a few inches of each other, it’s nice to have our separate “things” and then we can snuggle! We also love to just be in different rooms watching whatever movie we each want to watch. My parents have been married for 35 years and mom swears that the secret of their marriage is that they had two separate TVs. B watches his thing the living room/plays video games and I hang in the bedroom catching up on The Bachelor or The Office for the 10th time.

Mae: When Nick and I are home together, the chances are very high that we are spending time together. We have enough space in our house for us to do our own thing. Even so, we still are rarely in separate rooms. Because we spend our workdays apart, we are always ready to spend time together in the evenings. On the weekends, however, sometimes we could both use some space. I don’t think either one of us has ever consciously decided that we need to spend time away from the other (barring the aftermath of a big fight or something, I guess), but I still think it’s very healthy to have alone time. On the weekends, we tend to do housework (cleaning, yard work, small projects) and that’s a great way for us to be home together but still have alone time. I’ll clean the kitchen and listen to an audiobook while Nick vacuums and listens to music (he does all the vacuuming in our house). Sometimes we’ll also do our own things while sitting in the same room. Nick will play guitar while I edit photos or he’ll play on his phone while I read. We’ll be in the same room, but we’ll both be focused on our own projects.

Thanks so much for reading this section of the post, head over to Mae’s blog to read my pretty “unpopular” answer to “Is it ever okay to snoop?” – hey, we’re being #real right?

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