I started writing relationship posts a few years ago, but really picked up the pace when I realized how much you guys enjoyed them. All of my top 10 posts are about love & marriage (with this exception of this one year-round nail color post that just slays) and I love that you guys enjoy reading my favorite topic to write about.
About a week ago I took advantage of the new questions feature on Instagram and let you guys ask me anything. It’s crazy how many questions I get about Sahir (& Theo)– but one that I kept getting over and over again felt like it needed a full blog post response. When you feel like you are ready to meet the right person or are waiting for love, what should you do?
I have to be honest, this one kinda stumped me. My blog is a modern day advice column, but I like writing about the things that I know about. Truthfully, I know very little about being single. I met my future husband when I was 8 years old. We started dating when I was 15 and got married around a decade later. I am well aware that my situation was a completely anomaly and no one meets their soulmate at 15. But how am I qualified to share advice on what to do when you are single? The good news is that I give my single friends unsolicited relationship advice all the time – so I’m totally a pro at this! (kidding… kind of)
Here we go:
KNOW YOURSELF FIRST
Wanting love is one thing, but actually knowing what you need is another. While you are pining for your prince (or princess) to find you, it’s important that you prioritize finding yourself first. What do you like? What do you dislike? What are dealbreakers for you and what arent? Being comfortable in your own skin will help you find someone to compliment you, not complete you.
As someone who is chronically in bed by midnight and loves to stay in – this one hurts to say. As a single person, you can’t just swipe your way to the alter. You have to be open to going out and meeting people. Hang out with coworkers, old friends, and make new ones. Meet as many people as your social stamina can handle – but be safe. Don’t go places alone and always take a trusted friend.
When you are struggling with singlehood, you are missing one of the best times of your life. Life doesn’t start after you get married, it’s happening now. Enjoy every stage of the journey. Make friends, meet new people, and do things that you enjoy now. Trust, being single is way better then being tied up in a relationship with the wrong person.
MAKE YOUR LIST
Write down 5 non-negotiables, but don’t overthink it. Think about the direction that you want your life to go in. Do you want to get married? When? Do you want kids? What about careers? Where to live? Long distance relationships – dealbreaker? Are you open to someone who drinks or does drugs? Be honest with yourself and don’t be afraid to be picky.
DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you and you should live and breathe this mantra. There are plenty of successful, smart, and stunning people who are still single and that is empowering. Knowing what you want and not settling is admirable and frankly make you a boss. *fist-bump*
IT’S OKAY TO DATE
Surprisingly enough, I always have to tell my single guy friends, that it’s okay to date and not be in a relationship. Casually courting is a good thing – although, it can be expensive and time consuming. Do things that are fun for you and invite a friend to come along with. Going for a hike? Invite your text-friend to join in. (I have to caveat this by saying that you should always be honest about what you are looking for, especially if you are casually dating so that you are on the same page!)
FIND A HOBBY
Sign up for something that involves other people like a workout studio dance classes, volunteering, or cooking classes. Hobbies like these push you to get out of your comfort zone and not be stuck at home. Maybe the bar and club life isn’t your scene and that’s okay. There are so many options to get out and do something you enjoy where you may or may not meet someone who enjoys the same things that you do!
I honestly believe that when you are rushing to get to the next stage of your life, you miss out on time that you will never get back. Remember when we were kids and in such a rush to grow up? Now playing outside for hours until the street lights come on is pretty epic. Fate has a way of working things out on it’s own, so enjoy every minute.