BFF – best friends forever. You know the drill. Maybe you had a keychain or a half a heart necklace? Oh, better yet – maybe you had a friendship bracelet made of yarn promising that no matter what your friendship would prevail against all odds. Then time went by and you lost touch, maybe you had a falling out or maybe your friendship just faded away. As time went by, you changed as a person or maybe they did? The truth is it’s probably both of you who changed.
No one is who they were a decade ago and that’s a good thing (hopefully). So now what? You haven’t talked in years and perhaps you even muted them on Instagram. Best friends
forever…. for a while seems like a better fit. But why is that so wrong? Why are we obsessed with BFFs?
WHY IT’S OKAY THAT FRIENDSHIPS END
The truth is that you wouldn’t expect someone to continue dating their high school boyfriend / girlfriend a decade and a half later (oops). People change, your needs change, your interests change and the likelihood that they change the exact same way as another person is extremely small. If we aren’t expected to keep the same relationships, why wouldn’t that philosophy extend to friendships?
Here’s the thing: friendships end and that’s okay.
I like to take the Marie Kondo approach to friendship. Only keep what brings you joy and for everything else thank it for the part that it played in your life and let it with an open heart. No pettiness, no grudges, no mean-girl attitude. I hate the phrase “cutting people out of your life” that seems so negative and aggressive. I like to think of it as letting people become who they need to be and remembering the time you had with them fondly.
It’s in our destiny to meet people who shape who we are and who we become. It makes sense that we some people will move in and out of our lives as time goes on. As we get older time becomes our biggest scarcity. We have commitments, family obligations, bills, work, etc and the desire for big groups of friends dwindles down. You’ve probably heard people say that they would rather have a few good friends over a ton of acquaintances and there’s a method to the madness. Surround yourself with people who understand you, inspire you and teach you things and if you need to break up with a friend – that’s okay too. Here’s a list of how to do it.
Can we live in a world where it’s possible to let go of friendships peacefully, acknowledging them for what they were- Instead of dreading what they have become? The key is to part on good terms. Accept that this person isn’t in your life anymore (if that’s what you want) and leave the door open for them to return at another time down the road.