To level-set I think that all couples should work to find their own groove, learn each other’s love languages and actively pursue communication with their partner. Now that that’s out of the way, this is my website so I’ll say whatever I want. Is “sorry not sorry” still a thing? In my experience, the concept of unsolicited marriage advice is pretty common. In fact, some of us even heavily solicit it and call it premarital counseling or therapy. But do these words of wisdom hold any merit in a new age of love & relationships?
If you could spin the wheel and land on the most common marital advice, where would you land? Most would guess “never go to bed angry” – others may say “happy wife happy life” (but that one I actually agree with). If you guessed the former, you’d be right. Couples swear by this philosophy. Apparently, someone decided that staying up all night and fighting when you are angry, sleep deprived and likely hungry would be a good idea – and it caught on like wildfire. I get the concept of not wanting to let a fight carry over for days – trust me, I do. For us, more often than not, it does more harm than well.
Ever been fuming from a fight and then forced a resolution and snuggled up together 15 minutes later? Yeah. Me Neither. Space isn’t a bad thing and in fact, time usually helps us realize the error of our ways and lets us think with a clear heart and fresh mind. Should you always argue and then just brush your teeth and hit the hay? Of course not. But when necessary, don’t force a resolution in the middle of the night. Offer you and your partner time to think about what you both said and give yourself the opportunity to think before you say any more. People process things at different speeds so be respectful and understand that even if you are all caught up – your other half might not be + the snuggles can wait till tomorrow.
Related: The Rules Of Fight Club
One size fits all marital advice is never a good idea so always talk to your partner before things get heated to find solutions that work for both or you. It might require some trial and error and that’s totally normal, it takes time for couples to find their groove, but no matter what stay respectful – don’t curse at each other and try not to raise your voice. Worst case? Just go to bed.