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There is no particular reason why I am entitled to give you advice on marriage. I’m not your grandparent who has been married 50 years or an award-winning relationship counselor. I’m simply (see what I did there?) a woman who has been with her partner for quite a while and is coming up on 3 years of marriage. Over this time, I’ve learned a few things.
When you get engaged, you’ll learn that everyone and I mean everyone will want to give you advice. Never fret, it could be worst. For example, if you are a guy – every single man will tell you the same exact thing “Happy Wife, Happy Life” — now I’m not discounting its merit but I feel for my husband as he has to throw his head back and laugh twice a week, as if he’s never heard this extremely cliche phrase before.
Not all of the advice is bad either:
“Keep the romance alive!”
– Good One. 4/5 Stars
“Never go to bed angry!”
– Eh, depends on your personality. 3/5 Stars
And don’t forget the infamous
“Marriage is about compromise!”
As someone who is on the other side of the bridge, here is what I wish I had known.
It is a rare occasion when it actually works out that “I want it this way and you want it that way, so we just meet in the middle” That methodology won’t work when you are doing the dishes nor when you are deciding how to discipline your kids. Marriage is about listening to your partner with an open mind and respecting their thoughts. In the end, if you “lose” you are giving up your way for the greater good of your relationship – because in the end that is what will be best for your family and will make you both happier.
I learned a lot about being selfless from my husband, Sahir. He is one of the kindest, most caring people I have ever met. He listens before he speaks and offers solutions over problems. Open communication and respect are essential when you are talking to anyone, but most importantly, your life partner. Don’t expect 50/50 compromises, no winning or losing – no keeping score. It all boils down to the fact that we are a team.