In a time where your days are plagued with computer time and your nights are split between your television and phone, it seems impossible to have even a few minutes of uninterrupted time. We are chronic multitaskers and do our best work when we are doing 5 things at once. But studies show that relationships and marriage, in particular, is struggling with the lack of attention. When it comes to spending time with your partner, what is the key to a strong marriage?
I think that when you look back to the beginning parts of your relationship, it can help equalize the lows that you will inevitably face. This can be done in a number of ways, but my favorite is the most simple: time. What are the things that you did together that made you truly realize that this person is someone whom you want to spend time with? What made you both laugh so hard that you cried? When did you share your fears together? All of these things are rooted in the time you spend together. Spending more uninterrupted time together increases intimacy, betters communication, and allows you to truly appreciate each other and remember why you fell in love in the first place.
Sahir and I implemented a plan (not rule) where for 30 minutes at some point every evening we use no electronics. This is a time for us to chat about what’s stressing us out at work, what we are looking forward to, and what’s on our minds. It was actually Sahir’s idea that I wholeheartedly agreed to. It’s not always easy, and on nights when I’m on a deadline, it can even seem impossible. But when you can make time for 30 minutes on Instagram or an episode on Netflix, you should be able to make that uninterrupted time for your partner.
Give it a shot and see if you can make a plan with your partner to boost the time that you spent together and therefore help strengthen your marriage.